Have you ever wondered why you seem to connect so well with some people and yet sometimes, despite lots of apparent similarities, you don’t have that same connection with others?

Here’s the thing. People have different personality styles and tend to see the world in different ways.  There are some simple but clever ways to connect with more people more easily. To begin …

#1 Know Your Own Style

For ease of use, I will introduce you to a simple colour model of personality style: Red, Yellow, Blue and Green.

  • A Red style tends to be: results-driven, focused, task-orientated, strategic, fast-paced and demanding.
  • A Yellow style tends to be: sociable, fun, talkative, thinks big, a good speaker, active and may not finish tasks.
  • A Blue style tends to be: detailed, logical, systematic, analytical, thorough, and may be reserved.
  • A Green style tends to be: a good listener, a team player, encouraging, thoughtful, considerate and may be indecisive.

It’s likely that you see aspects of your own style mostly in two of the colours, as this is most common. Blue/Yellow and Red/Green combinations are less usual, but everything else goes. This will also give you a good idea of how you are seen by others. So the next step is …

#2 Identify The Style Of Your Stakeholders

You can use the checklist above to help you identify the style of people you know. Once you have thought about this you can begin to work out how to work with them more successfully.

One rule of thumb is you will tend to connect well with people who are similar to you. This means that Red should work well with Red, Yellow with Yellow, and so on.

People you are ‘opposite’ to you in style will be the least easy to connect with (Opposites are Red/Green and Blue/Yellow). If you look at the descriptions above, you’ll see why this might be the case. Now you know this use this third clever strategy …

#3 Adapt Your Style To Connect

When you adapt your communication and interaction style to the other person you WILL have a better connection and your relationship and communication will become easier.

  • For the predominantly Red style: speak quickly, get to the point and focus on solutions and results.
  • For the predominantly Yellow style: be flexible, enthusiastic and creative
  • For the predominantly Blue style: slow down, focus on facts and be logical
  • For the predominantly Green style: relax, focus on the people and listen

When you get on to the other person’s wavelength it is so much easier to get them on to yours.


This blog is an edited excerpt from my book BOOST – How To Turn Your Talents And Potential Into Lasting Success. Get the Introduction and first chapter free.